Have you always dreamed of joining the Mile High Club? It’s a legendary experience that many people aspire to, but few actually achieve. However, with a little planning and preparation, it’s entirely possible to make your dream a reality. In this article, we’ll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to join the Mile High Club, from choosing the right flight to finding a willing partner.
The first step is to choose the right flight. Not all flights are created equal, and some are much more conducive to Mile High Club activities than others. For example, long-haul flights with overnight service are ideal because they provide plenty of time and privacy. Additionally, flights that are less crowded are more likely to be successful. Once you’ve chosen a flight, it’s time to find a willing partner. This can be a tricky task, but there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of success.
Planning Your Rendezvous
Joining the Mile High Club requires careful planning to ensure a discreet and enjoyable experience.
1. Choose Your Airline and Flight
Book a flight on an airline known for its spacious cabins and comfortable seats. Choose a flight with a longer duration to provide ample time for your rendezvous.
2. Secure a Private Seat
Request a window or aisle seat near the back of the plane for increased privacy. If possible, upgrade to a bulkhead seat or one with extra legroom.
3. Pack Essential Items
Prepare a small bag discreetly containing the following items:
| Item | Purpose |
|---|---|
| Condoms | Protection and discretion |
| Lubricant | Enhance pleasure and minimize noise |
| Wet wipes | For cleanup and sanitation |
| Handcuffs or restraints (optional) | For added security or role-playing |
| Silk scarf or blindfold (optional) | To create a sense of intimacy or privacy |
| Earphones or noise-canceling headphones | To minimize distractions and create a private atmosphere |
In-Flight Etiquette
Respect the privacy of others. Ensure your activities do not interfere with the comfort or enjoyment of fellow passengers. Discreetly inform the flight attendants if you need assistance or have any concerns.
Keep noise levels low. Whispers and soft conversation are acceptable, but avoid loud talking, laughter, or inappropriate language that may disturb others.
Be mindful of personal hygiene. Use the restrooms for necessary tasks, maintain basic grooming, and avoid strong scents or perfumes that may affect those around you.
Follow the instructions of the flight attendants. They are responsible for ensuring the safety and comfort of all passengers. Obey their instructions regarding seatbelts, electronic devices, and other safety measures.
Safety Considerations
Before attempting to join the Mile High Club, it is essential to prioritize safety. Here are some important considerations to keep in mind:
1. Privacy
Ensure you have complete privacy and that no flight attendants or other passengers can see or hear you. Avoid restrooms or areas with high traffic.
2. Timing
Choose a time when the flight is relatively empty or when most passengers are asleep. Avoid doing it during meal services or take-off and landing.
3. Consent
Always obtain clear and enthusiastic consent from your partner. Ensure both parties are comfortable and enthusiastic about the experience.
4. Comfort
Wear comfortable clothing that allows for movement and choose a lavatory with ample space. Bring your own blanket or pillow if necessary.
5. Hygiene and Sanitation
It’s important to maintain hygiene and sanitation during the experience. Consider bringing personal hand sanitizer, condoms, and cleaning wipes. Here’s a table summarizing additional hygiene tips:
| Tip | Details |
|---|---|
| Before: | Wash your hands thoroughly and use a disinfectant wipe to clean any surfaces you may touch. |
| During: | Avoid touching your face and use a hand sanitizer regularly. |
| After: | Wash your hands again and use a cleaning wipe to disinfect the lavatory surfaces you used. |
Legal Implications
Jail Time
Engaging in any sexual activity on an aircraft can result in serious legal consequences. The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has strict regulations prohibiting such behavior, and violators can face criminal charges ranging from misdemeanors to felonies. Depending on the severity of the offense, individuals convicted of violating these regulations can face significant jail time.
fines
In addition to jail time, individuals caught engaging in sexual activity on an aircraft can also be subject to substantial fines. The FAA has the authority to impose civil penalties of up to $35,000 for first-time offenders and up to $100,000 for repeat offenders. These fines can be financially devastating and serve as a significant deterrent against such behavior.
Other Consequences
Beyond criminal penalties and fines, engaging in sexual activity on an aircraft can lead to other negative consequences. Individuals caught violating FAA regulations may be placed on the no-fly list, prohibiting them from boarding any aircraft in the future. Additionally, they may face public humiliation and damage to their personal and professional reputations.
| Offense | Penalty |
|---|---|
| Indecent Exposure | Up to 1 year in jail, $10,000 fine |
| Lewd or Immoral Conduct | Up to 5 years in jail, $25,000 fine |
| Assault or Battery | Up to 10 years in jail, $50,000 fine |
Tips for a Memorable Experience
1. Choose the Right Flight
Select a long-haul flight with minimal turbulence and preferably nighttime for privacy.
2. Secure a Private Space
Book seats in an isolated area, such as the last row or an empty section. Consider a bulkhead or aisle seat for easier access to the restroom.
3. Dress Comfortably
Wear loose-fitting clothing that allows for movement and discretion. Avoid tight pants or skirts that may restrict your range of motion.
4. Bring Essential Supplies
Pack a small bag with essentials like condoms, lubricant, hand wipes, and breath mints. Keep it within easy reach.
5. Use the Restroom as a Staging Area
Utilize the restroom for discreet preparation and cleanup. Make sure it’s not occupied before entering.
6. Communicate with Your Partner
Discuss your expectations and preferences beforehand. Establish clear signals for when you need to stop or change positions.
7. Consider the Logistics
Prepare for the practicalities of the experience:
| Logistics | Tips |
|---|---|
| Seating | Choose adjustable seats with reclining options or consider lying across multiple seats. |
| Timing | Plan for ample time, as it may take longer than anticipated to find privacy and prepare. |
| Noise | Wear earplugs or noise-canceling headphones to minimize distractions from other passengers. |
| Motion | Anticipate potential turbulence and consider using pillows or blankets to stabilize yourselves. |
| Cleanup | Use the restroom facilities to clean up discreetly after your encounter. |
Common Mistakes to Avoid
1. Not having a plan.
The most important thing is to plan ahead. Know where you’re going to meet, what you’re going to do, and how you’re going to get there. This will help you avoid any unexpected problems.
2. Being too loud.
One of the worst things you can do is to be too loud. This will not only attract attention from the flight attendants, but it will also make it difficult to enjoy the experience.
3. Not being discreet.
It’s important to be discreet when you’re joining the Mile High Club. This means not making out in public or engaging in any other inappropriate behavior.
4. Not using protection.
It’s always important to use protection when you’re having sex. This will help you avoid any unwanted pregnancy or STIs.
5. Not cleaning up after yourself.
Once you’re done, it’s important to clean up after yourself. This means putting away any toys or other items that you used, and wiping down any surfaces that you touched.
6. Not being prepared for the consequences.
Joining the Mile High Club can have serious consequences. If you’re caught, you could be arrested and charged with a crime. You could also lose your job or be kicked out of school.
7. Not having fun.
The most important thing is to have fun. If you’re not enjoying yourself, then it’s not worth it.
8. Not considering the following additional risks:
| Risk | Consequences |
|---|---|
| Turbulence | Can cause injuries or make it difficult to maintain privacy. |
| Flight attendants | May intervene if they suspect inappropriate behavior. |
| Other passengers | May report suspicious activity to the crew or authorities. |
| Cameras | May be present in the lavatory or other areas, capturing evidence of activity. |
| Legal consequences | Joining the Mile High Club is illegal in some jurisdictions and can result in fines, jail time, or other penalties. |
Aftercare
After fulfilling your fantasy of joining the Mile High Club, it’s crucial to take proper precautions for your health and discretion. Here’s a comprehensive guide to aftercare:
- Hygiene: Use the bathroom immediately after the act to freshen up. Wash your hands thoroughly and use antibacterial wipes to clean any surfaces you may have touched.
- Discretion: Remain discreet and avoid leaving behind any personal belongings or evidence of your activity. Dispose of used condoms or other items discreetly.
- Health Check: If you notice any unusual symptoms after joining the Mile High Club, such as discomfort, itching, or discharge, consult a medical professional promptly. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
- Emotional Aftermath: Joining the Mile High Club can trigger a range of emotions, from excitement to guilt. Allow yourself to process these emotions healthily and seek support from trusted friends or partners if needed.
Discretion
Discretion is paramount when participating in the Mile High Club. Here are some tips to maintain secrecy and avoid unwanted attention:
- Choose Your Seat Wisely: Select a seat where you have some privacy, away from the aisles or exits. Check the plane’s layout beforehand to identify potential spots with more discretion.
- Use the Dim Lighting: Flight restrooms are typically dimly lit, providing some level of privacy. Take advantage of the low light to conceal your activities.
- Be Discreet in the Lavatory: Keep your voice low and avoid making excessive noise. Limit the amount of time spent in the restroom to minimize the risk of being caught.
- Cover Your Tracks: If you use the restroom, flush the toilet after use and wash your hands thoroughly. Wipe down any surfaces you may have touched, such as the sink or doorknob, to remove any lingering evidence.
- Leave No Trace: Dispose of any personal belongings or used items discreetly. Do not leave anything behind that could link you to the Mile High Club activity.
- Respect the Crew: Flight attendants are responsible for the safety and comfort of all passengers. Respect their authority and avoid any confrontations.
- Choose the Right Airline: Some airlines have stricter policies regarding sexual activity on their flights. Research different airlines and choose one known for its discretion.
- Fly in a Group: If you’re traveling with a trusted friend or partner, joining the Mile High Club can be more manageable. They can serve as a lookout or assist in maintaining discretion.
- Stay Calm: If you are caught or questioned by a crew member, remain calm and respectful. Do not panic or escalate the situation. Politely explain that you were using the restroom and avoid providing unnecessary details.
Airline Policies Regarding Mile High Club Activities
| Airline | Policy |
|---|---|
| Delta Air Lines | No specific policy; discretion is at the captain’s discretion. |
| United Airlines | Prohibited; passengers caught engaging in sexual activity may face legal consequences. |
| Southwest Airlines | “Romantic encounters are not allowed on our flights.” |
| American Airlines | No specific policy; enforces general rules of conduct and considers sexual activity disruptive. |
| Spirit Airlines | Prohibited; passengers may be removed from the flight and reported to law enforcement. |
